Anxiety problems...

So I made the disappointing decision to delay our original plan to start trying for baby number 2 in December. I have a lot of problems with anxiety and I feel like I need to get to a point where I can better handle the stress and anxiety before I add a possible pregnancy to the mix. I know that it is a responsible decision, but I am pretty sad about it. I was so excited to toss out the birth control and give my daughter a sibling. For now, I'll just focus on the child I have and managing my stress. I can hopefully start talking to someone about all my anxieties and perhaps blog a little more and see if I can work on my mental health! I know that a lot of it stems from a fear of death and a fear of leaving my daughter without a mom. My mom died at 47 of cancer. I think it's colored everything that I do now. I am worried about eating healthy. I know that I should exercise more. And every twinge that I feel, becomes exaggerated in my head. I end up consulting Dr. Google far too often. And I'm worried that I will pass on my anxiety to my my lil monkey! She is like a parrot and she copies her daddy and I all the time! My anxiety levels have been so bad lately, that I have palpitations more often and I end up getting barely any sleep because if I think about anything "heavy" before bed, I end up with insomnia until I eventually pass out! I don't have any religion or faith anymore and I don't believe in any sort of after life. When I was a kid, I did have faith. When I really understood that one day, this life will end and I won't exist anymore, I had a belief system. I still believed in heaven. As I got older, I lost that and now, the thought of dying is so terrifying that it can keep me up at night and is a large part why I have to fall asleep to the tv or a movie so I can keep my brain occupied with something else. I think I definitely need to talk to a counselor and learn to manage my fears and stop letting them dominate most days!