Turkey pumpkin chili!

I've been pretty obsessed with all things pumpkin lately. So when I saw a recipe for turkey pumpkin chili, I was excited at the prospect but also trepidatious. It seems like a pretty odd combo. The original recipe that we went for was didn't call for beans so it was rejected. "Glorified soup!" my husband declared! So we found this one on SkinnyTaste.com instead! And bonus, it's pretty healthy! We tweaked it a bit because we didn't want it super spicy for the lil monkey! We left out the green chile and used half a red bell pepper and half a yellow bell pepper instead. We also added a bit of garlic and onion powder and my husband was heavy handed with the oregano because he used the wrong side of the shaker lol. Oh and we only had one pound of turkey so it was a bit light on the meat. We served it with some shredded cheddar and a dollop of sour cream and it was delicious! Now, the lil monkey didn't like it*, but her daddy and I loved it! I think it's the best chili that we've ever made! It's definitely in the rotation for fall (possibly year round!) I'd say that it was a huge success! * = The lil monkey ate more than half of it before she turned her nose up at it so she did pretty well with it.

Anxiety problems...

So I made the disappointing decision to delay our original plan to start trying for baby number 2 in December. I have a lot of problems with anxiety and I feel like I need to get to a point where I can better handle the stress and anxiety before I add a possible pregnancy to the mix. I know that it is a responsible decision, but I am pretty sad about it. I was so excited to toss out the birth control and give my daughter a sibling. For now, I'll just focus on the child I have and managing my stress. I can hopefully start talking to someone about all my anxieties and perhaps blog a little more and see if I can work on my mental health! I know that a lot of it stems from a fear of death and a fear of leaving my daughter without a mom. My mom died at 47 of cancer. I think it's colored everything that I do now. I am worried about eating healthy. I know that I should exercise more. And every twinge that I feel, becomes exaggerated in my head. I end up consulting Dr. Google far too often. And I'm worried that I will pass on my anxiety to my my lil monkey! She is like a parrot and she copies her daddy and I all the time! My anxiety levels have been so bad lately, that I have palpitations more often and I end up getting barely any sleep because if I think about anything "heavy" before bed, I end up with insomnia until I eventually pass out! I don't have any religion or faith anymore and I don't believe in any sort of after life. When I was a kid, I did have faith. When I really understood that one day, this life will end and I won't exist anymore, I had a belief system. I still believed in heaven. As I got older, I lost that and now, the thought of dying is so terrifying that it can keep me up at night and is a large part why I have to fall asleep to the tv or a movie so I can keep my brain occupied with something else. I think I definitely need to talk to a counselor and learn to manage my fears and stop letting them dominate most days!