Books! Check 'em out!

In an attempt at self improvement, I've decided to start focusing on things other than the usual anxieties that I usually get tangled up in. I want to do something more productive with my time. I've started by adding in a nighttime workout about 3 times a week. (Late night Zumba for the Wii) I'm getting better! And I'm going to try to meditate more often to help improve my mood.

And as a way to improve my mind and to break away from television a bit, I've pinned a reading challenge from Pop Sugar. I am planning on creating a page where I can keep track of the books that I've read and mark them off. 

So far, I've read a trilogy! It was pretty amazing! I read the Newsflesh Trilogy by Mira Grant! They were exciting, twisty, and nerve wracking! It's funny that I don't like watching scary movies, but I LOVE scary books! There was one night that I was so freaked out that when the cat scratched to get into the house, I could barely open the door because Holy Nighttime! And I immediately closed and locked the door and ran upstairs and sat with my back to the wall! It is all kinds of ridiculous, but I love books that make me feel that way. 

It took me a bit to get into the first book, Feed, just because I originally tried to listen to the audio book but I wasn't a fan of the reading. Nothing personal against the girl behind the voice, it just wasn't for me. But once I got started, I devoured all three of the books! They were amazing and shocking and seemed a lot more plausible than other Zombie type books that I've encountered. She definitely did her research! I really felt like the story behind the outbreak was believable. (Not that it's always necessary, but it is nice!)  And Mira Grant is an amazing writer!

I highly recommend this trilogy! Especially if you are in to zombie novels! 

Motivation

I'm a bridesmaid in February and have been feeling a bit ashamed of putting on 35 lbs in a year and a bit. So I joined a Diet Bet. I exercised for one day so far and now I feel spent. I think I overdid it on day one.

Why do we feel this intense pressure to look a certain way? Why is it so hard to love our bodies? Why can't I keep up my motivation?

Perfect?

I feel like I've written about this before, but I need to do it again to remind myself.

No one is perfect. Especially not me. But I am trying to be better. I need to know as I binge eat mini chocolate bars sometimes, that we won't always eat the best. I need to know as I lay down on the couch just having woken up, that sometimes, we need lazy tired days. I need to know that I can't always hold my tongue and keep my temper in check. I am trying, but I cannot accomplish these things. And I need to be okay with that. The pressure placed on parents to be perfect these days is immense and overwhelming. We can't be perfect. And attempting perfection is the short way to anxiety street! At least for me.

I find myself stressed and anxious when I feel like I can't live up to the ideal. Our house isn't very clean, Z watches too much tv, we eat junk food, and we eat out more than we should. We leave dishes in the sink for days and there is always a mess on the couch. The counters are covered in detritus that seems to be forever unsortable.

Despite all of this, we have made great strides in keeping the house relatively in order. Now I just need to learn to forgive myself for never being able to attain perfection. My house will never be all the way clean. I will never spend the whole day doing pinterest crafts with my toddler. I will always make meals that are half healthy and half easy. But hopefully, I can learn to be okay with that.

Where are the movers?

So, our movers are still not here. We moved here in the beginning of July, we gave them our new address by mid July and here we sit, into September and still no possessions. Granted, I should be grateful for what we have, but I miss our stuff. I miss our dishes. We had to buy a pot and a pan, dishes, cups, a table and chairs to eat on. We had to buy a couch for the living room (though that isn't on the movers.) But we've had to buy stuff. To replace the day to day stuff. Measuring cups, cutting boards, silverware, blankets and pillows, baking dishes, and mugs. I know that there are people worse off than we are. And I get how lucky we are to have the money to replace all of this stuff. But, it's mentally and emotionally exhausting to be constantly waiting for our stuff. At long last, on Tuesday the company told us that our stuff is in the next state and would be coming in the next couple of days. We still haven't heard from them. I'm just so sad and worried. Most of the stuff is replaceable (Although I would hate to have to do that.) But the cedar chest that has been in my family for 3 generations now and all of the mementos from my late mother... those I can't replace.

Quite honestly, my anxiety has been skyrocketing lately mostly due to the movers. I just want my stuff. But when I call, they act like I am being ridiculous. I'm just tired of the lying and the delays. I just want my stuff. If they've lost my stuff, I want to know it so that I can take the appropriate actions. But mostly, I just want a simple phone call to let me know what is going on. I want someone to care that we've been living in this house for almost 2 full months with only the stuff that we brought with us and the necessities that we've replaced.

This move has been our worst. If I didn't love it here so much, I may have moved back already.

Potty training is like a day job?

I am truly baffled by kids sometimes. In the past few days of serious potty training, I've noticed that most accidents seem to happen at the end of the day. Z will stand somewhere and pee rather than go to the potty starting somewhere around 5:30 pm. Do they clock out at 5 pm? Today, she was literally just steps from the downstairs bath when she stood in the front hall and peed on the floor. And when I asked her why she did it instead of using the potty, she said that she likes to clean messes by herself. And this is coming from the child who will tell me that cleaning is too hard after picking up a tiny amount of her building toys. Can't I just clean them up?

Potty training is frustrating, but the is the most progress that we've made since she was trained last summer. I guess as long as she lasts all the way through preschool without an 'accident' we should be good, right?

Learning to cook...

I'll admit that cooking has always intimidated me. Mostly because of the amount of times that I've burned things like a pot while boiling water and the amount of times that I've had food poisoning. But lately, I've been becoming more "domesticated." By that, I just mean actually doing things such as mopping the floor every couple of days and keeping things relatively tidy. But I've also been getting in to cooking.

It began when my mother in law was staying with us after the move. She cooked for us and I was determined to learn from her. I learned how to make stuffed pork chops, mashed potatoes from real potatoes, and a few other things. Then I traveled to New Jersey to visit with my family for a week and learned to make spaghetti sauce from scratch in the slow cooker.

Since I've been home, I've been experimenting with making roasted red potatoes, roasted brussel sprouts, french fries(!), and burgers on my own! It's baby steps, but I'm kind of proud because it's out of my comfort zone. As soon as my dishes arrive (A whole other drama ridden story for another day) I plan to pay for some meal planning and start expanding my repertoire!

I think this move has been good for me!

Potty training

Today, we are starting (for the third time) potty training! Z is really interested in going to preschool and a lot of the programs don't allow non potty trained kids to register. So far, pretty good. And by that, I mean that she took the initiative and told me that she had to pee in the potty. Then instead of her pull up, she insisted on underwear. So I broke out her Frozen underwear and we're going to try. I have the timer set and in 30 minutes, we'll try the potty. It's going to be a long day, but I'm feeling positive! *fingers crossed* that it sticks this time! 

Parenting is hard, yo!